2008 Royal Rumble

Posted by Fenn at Jan 28th 2008 2:46:57 PM

Welcome to the first 'real' blog entry. It's a big one... you might wanna sit down.



Last night was the 21st annual Royal Rumble. The 'Road to Wrestlemania' begins... Open, Madison Square Garden.

Madison Square Garden
For starters, let me comment on MSG. I know that many hail MSG as 'the Mecca', but personally, I can't really stand it. Sorry, but I happen to like to watch the entrances and the walk down the ramp. Superstars (as usual) entered from beneath the seats for a grandiose 20 foot walk to the ring. I couldn't help but focus on the (apparently) mentally challenged guy in the yellow shirt at ringside. Again, sorry... but I like the fanfare. The overall theme of the evening seemed to be, 'let's see how many times we can blow a spot on the biggest PPV next to Wrestlemania'.

Ric Flair vs. MVP
The opening match on the card was Ric Flair vs. MVP in a career-threatening match. To be blunt, even before the event, for the life of me I couldn't understand why this match-up was even on the card. Did anyone really believe that a mid-carder like MVP was going to retire Flair? C'mon, seriously... if Flair is going to be retired, it's gonna be to give a main-eventer a push. Speaking of MVP... what a lame gimick... an inflatable football tunnel? ...and what is up with that unitard? MVP/Alvin Burke may have talent, but let's get him a different character. In my opinion, this match was a complete waste of time that ate into the upcoming matches (which all seemed rushed, by the by...). I now feel bad for Flair every time that I watch him. Slow and painful. Ric couldn't even pull off what I can only assume what was supposed to be an Oklahoma Roll. At least we didn't have to see the same tired, lame 'crooked backdrop' and Flair climbing the turnbuckle just to be tossed off. Yes, Flair was one of the greats... but it's time for him to go. I'd rather see him in an on-camera, non-wrestling role. He was great as the GM of Raw. To this day, I still think Ric's final match should have been the Street Fight with Vince McMahon at the 2002 Royal Rumble. I have seen Ric in a great match since that one... (side note, no one bleeds like Flair)

Following the match, was a package with Vince, Hornswoggle and then Finlay, foreshadowing the upcoming rumble. I honestly like the whole 'bastard son' angle... although I'm not sure why Hornswoggle isn't allowed to speak anymore. What's with all of the grunts and nearly-inaudible 'yeahs' now? Heh.

The next big surprise, the newest member of the broadcast team is... the guy that used to host the original American Gladiators? Why the hell did they hire Mike Adamle? I wouldn't even mention him... but later in the PPV he refers to Jeff Hardy, as Jeff Harvy. Yes, he did correct himself, but that's just inexcusable.

Y2J vs. JBL
Next up, Jericho vs. JBL. I'm happy that Jericho is back. I was was even happier when they stopped making him wear that sequined vest. Sorry... I know he was doing musicals and stuff, but that vest was 'way gay'. I'm just as happy that JBL is wrestling again, but I must say, I hate, and have always hated the rich tycoon angle. I had my hopes up when Bradshaw and Farooq/Ron Simmons (DAMN) ran in as A.P.A. to rescue Hornswoggle a few weeks back, but oh well. More of the same. The match started with lots of slow, back-and-forth action. Not a whole lot to report until Jericho ate ringpost through the turnbuckles. When he reappeared from the floor he had a gusher. Nice blading, Y2J. Throughout the match, Jericho looked great, but 'Holy Ring Rust, Bradshaw...'. Bradshaw totally blew the spot with Jericho's signature bulldog. Jericho went for the bulldog and JBL stayed put, then dove to the mat a second late. Way to phantom-bump, JBL. This screw-up elicited boos from the crowd, as well as from viewers such as myself at home. Jericho won the corwd back after the lionsault. Eventually the action spilled outside. The highlights of outside the ring action was Jericho's bloody faceprint on the ECW announce table, followed by an unblocked chairshot to JBL's head which ended the match (I was surprised by this. WWE frowns on head-chair contact. I guess Bradshaw was trying to make it up to the crowd for the blown spot). After the match, the action continued inside the ring with Y2J winging a chair from the apron across the ring into JBL's head... again, unblocked. Jericho then grabbed a cable and lynched JBL, using the top rope as a pulley while standing on the ECW table. Bradshaw's tongue hanged out like Umaga's. A bit oversold, JBL.

My WWE Diva Rant
Following this match was a promo with Ashley and Santino Marella, a continuation of the whole, 'Hi I'm Ashley and I need to speak to your girlfriend about posing in Playboy but you won't let me. I haven't mentioned her posing in Playboy, and the audience is too stupid to see this storyline unfolding again for the ump-teenth time' angle. This bring me to my first, of many rants, about the WWE divas. STOP. STOP THE DIVA STORYLINES. IF THEY CAN'T PERFORM IN THE RING, DON'T PUT THEM ON TV. WE'RE SO SICK OF T&A. Sorry... but I remember waaaay back in the day (hey, it's back in the day for me), with wrestlers like Wendi Richter, Lelani Kai and Moolah (and later Chyna and Lita) were on TV, they could actually wrestle. In this blogger's opinion, the only female wrestlers that should be on TV right now are Beth Phoenix and Victoria. So help me god, if I have to watch that annoying twit Mickie James blow one more spot...

Edge vs. Rey Mysterio
Following the promo, Edge vs. Rey Mysterio for the World Heavyweight title. I don't have much to say about this match... I will, however comment on it's participants:
* Firstly, I don't really like Edge anymore. I haven't since the whole Matt/Lita/Edge fiasco. When I did like Edge, he was much more entertaining as a face. The Edge/Kurt angle rivalry was fantastic (Edge planted the seeds for Kurt's 'You Suck' era. Fantastic).
* Rey Mysterio... the whole concept of Rey being the World Heavyweight Champion is retarded. It was retarded the first time... and it's retarded now. the guy weighs less than 170 lbs. ...and Rey, if you are reading this (I know you aren't, no one is reading this), you can do amazing things. Please get some new moves. The 619 and (toned-down) West Coast Pop are tired.
* Hawkins/Ryder... I am liking this tag team. They have some great moves. It's unfortunate that WWE has hitched your wagon to the character of Edge.
* Vickie Guerrero. Vince, it was awesome of you to give Vickie a job after Eddie passed. Please give her an off-camera job. She's horrendous on the mic. If you won't take her off of the mic, please end the 'GM in a wheelchair' angle. It was dumb when we had to watch Kurt Angle, work the same angle.
Best highlight of the match: Rey 619-ing the back or Vickie's head while she and edge hug. Semi-blown spots: Rey's attempt of a Pete Rose slide to the outside to spinning DDT Edge outside the ring. this probably would have been awesome, if Rey's chest didn't stick to the mat like velcro. This, followed by Edge's labored attempt to same the move didn't come across well. At another point Rey tried to chest-stomp Edge from the atop the turnbuckle. Unfortunately Rey's feet slipped off of Edge's sweaty chest upon landing. Rey fall down, go boom.

Next up, an awesome promo with Ken Kennedy and Ric Flair... then Shawn Michaels, Trips and Dave Batista. Ken Kennedy is awesome. Some will argue with me, but I can see Ken Kennedy becoming the new Rock. Great showman... great on the mic... fun to watch. HBK arrives and shoos off Kennedy like only HBK can. I like HBK's Mic skills... almost always makes me laugh. It was funny to see Shawn Michaels tell Ric Flair that a loud mouth with platinum blond hair with catch phrase would fail. "That gimmick will never work!" HBK was the star of this promo. I only wish his in-ring skills entertained me as much. Like so many other Superstars... I get tired of seeing the same crap over and over every match. I realize some folks love it, I'm just not one of them. I want to see some innovation and evolution. Ric and Flair are soon joined by Triple H and Batista for a impromptu Evolution reunion, sans Orton, leaving HBK feeling 'awkward'.

Royal Rumble Kiss Cam. You've GOT to be kidding.
...and now, the first ever Royal Rumble kissing cam with Maria! WTF?!!! Are you serious? I know you guys needed to get her in the ring for the in-ring Playboy promo, but that's the best you came up with? Following the kissing cam garbage, Ashley comes out, followed by Santino (who brought a friend... in a burqa) to reveal the whole 'Maria's going to be in Playboy' announcement. God... who cares. The savior of this waste of time, was everyone's favorite: under the burqa was none other than Big Dick Johnson! Yay!

Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton
We have finally arrived at the moment that I, and everyone else, has been waiting for. Jeff Hardy winning the title. Time for a new kind of champ! Not so fast... With the major push the Jeff has been given... and all the dangerous spots they've had him pull in the past few weeks. Orton keeps the belt. I (and everyone else) should have known. Jeff is featured on the No Way Out graphic inside the elimination chamber, which is rumored to be a #1 Contender match. All in all though, this was a good match. No one sells dazed and stunned better than Randy Orton. I gasped as Orton's head snapped off the crowd barrier and was twisted at an unnatural angle. Orton won clean... which I didn't expect. Guess we'll have to see what Jeff will do in the Elimination Chamber. Lots of places for him to high-fly from.

Royal Rumble
I've rambled long enough... I'm not gonna describe the entire play by play for the Royal Rumble, but here are some of my favorite moments:
* Much to my shock (and I'm sure everyone else's) he #1 and 2 entrants were Undertaker and HBK.
* The #4 entrant was Khali. I laughed when all of MSG chanted 'You can't wrestle' at him.
* Tommy Dreamer was #6. He clotheslined John Morrison into a backflip. Shades of Bradshaw clotheslining Rikishi.
* The arrival of Jimmy 'Superfly' Snuka, and then Rowdy Roddy Piper. Everyone in the the ring seemed to stop and just watch them. Side note: Holy crap, Hot Rod. Please keep your shirt on!
* HBK and Taker went out before Miz & Morrison? What the Hell...
* Taker Leg dropping Snitsky on the Smackdown announce table. This sure would have been nice to see. Nice job, camera crew/control room. Camera work over all on the actual Rumble was not good.
* Hornswoggle eliminating Mike Miz. He hid under the ring the majority of the match until Mike Henry lifted him in. Just before Mike Henry and Big Daddy V killed him, Finlay ran in and saved him with the shilelagh. Finlay escorted Hornswoggle to the back. Note: Hornswoggle never was thrown over the top rope. We'll see if this gets addressed on Raw tonight.
* The #30 entrant was... I, like most, was expecting Big Show. The rumor mill suggested that Big show would be returning at the Rumble... but no. John Cena. Yay. Today's rumor mill suggests that WWE kept John Cena under wraps, even from those in the locker room. To be honest, Trips did look shocked when Cena's entrance song started playing (Cena was not supposed to return until after Wrestlemania due to his injury). aaaand.... I thought last night, that it looked like Trips was not supposed to go over the top rope. It looked to me like he was trying to stop from going out. He either sold it very well, or a different outcome was scripted than what actually happened.

I can't say that I'm happy that Cena is back. I preferred him as the rapper heel. I was on my couch, booing with every Cena punch, and yay-ing with every Triple H punch along with the rest of the audience.

Have I been too harsh in this entry? Probably. Can I do what pro wrestlers do? No way... but this is how I see it.