Video Game Review: Smackdown! vs. Raw 2008

Posted by Fenn Jan 31 2008 at 12:21:04 PM

I'll keep this short and 'sweet'. (Short for me, anyway. Heh)



Last week I picked up a copy of THQ's WWE Smackdown! vs. Raw 2008 for PS2 (Hey, I can't afford a new console. PPVs are expensive). This week, I took it back to the store. I was tempted to drive up the street to THQ and leave it on their doorstep in flames.

This year's version of SvR is a nearly-identical copy of SvR 2007... except it sucks.

Here's what you have to look forward to:

* An incomplete, inaccurate roster with a nearly vacant Cruiserweight class. There are only roughly 50 wrestlers in SvR 2008. Last year there were over 70 wrestlers.

* The complete absence of online mode. The replay value here is non-existent.

* A botched story mode (24/7 mode). I suffered through three 'storylines'. Here's an example:

• The first storyline was my wrestler fighting for the #1 contender slot, which I won.

• One would expect the next logical storyline would be challenging for the title... Not so fast... instead of that, I am now competing with Carlito to impress Stephanie McMahon for a starring role in a WWE Films movie? WTF? I win this storyline, just to hear that Stephanie will 'be in touch'.

• The next storyline, I am again competing for a #1 contenders spot, which I already won in the first storyline.

* Story mode is driven by choices given to the player. Unfortunately, this doesn't work either. In the first story line, I was asked by another wrestler if I want to trade opponents for my next match. Is answered no. Guess what, the game traded anyway! Yay! In another storyline I was given the option of three wrestlers to choose as my tag team partner, of the three, Randy Orton was the most dominant and logical choice, so I choose RKO. The game gave me Johnny Nitro (now John Morrison) as my tag partner.

* Announcer commentary: You are going to hear the same, canned lines that you have heard ever since the beginning of the series.

* You can now gain reputation with the fans and cash by cutting promos, making appearances, trophy dates, etc. While this may sound cool, you'll never see your Superstar ever actually DO any of these things.

* There is a skill improvement mini-game-type thing now where you must complete a set number of moves within 2 minutes. The payoff is not worth the wait while it loads.

* Loading times are horrendous overall. See a cut scene, loading screen. See an entrance, loading screen. See the next entrance, loading screen. Start the match, loading screen. In fact, I'd bet at least a third of your time with this game is looking at loading screens. They tried to make it interesting with little fact and figures about Superstars, but after you read it once, that's pretty much the end of 'interesting'. (I didn't need to know that Mickie James used to wait tables at the Olive Garden, and who really cares about Cryme Time anyway?)

I could go on and on, but the above is really enough. It's obvious that this title was rushed to market before bug testing/QA was finished.

The only good thing I found about SvR 2008 was the new ECW Extreme Rules match. While this isn't much different than the hardcore match, it does open up a new feature when you get a weapon from under the ring apron. There is now a 'wheel' that appears that allows you to select the weapon you want. There are now also what I would call 'ECW finishers', such as lighting a barbed-wire bat or table on fire. Other ECW additions include fans handing you weapons (ala 'Bring your Own Weapon Night' and being able to approach fans with signs and cheer with them if you are a face, or ripping their signs up if you're a heel. Other new functions here, barely worthy of comment, is a Legend mode where to are able to recreate famous matches from the last (i.e. Montreal Screw-job), the L1 button replacing Triangle as run (you can now control where you run, instead of in a straight line. Triangle is now the finisher button), stamina replenishes during 'rest activities' now and the recover stamina button is now gone, and General Manager mode being nearly identical to the 24/7 mode. Oh, I forgot to mention... there are now 8 unique fighting styles. This is a good feature and helps keeping the wrestlers in character (Example: Someone like Jeff Hardy doesn't remove turnbuckle covers), however with the botched story mode, and no online play, it's really quite pointless.

I suggest buying 'WWE Smackdown! vs Raw 2007'. The series debuted with 'WWF Just Bring It!' debuted on the PS2 back in 2001. SvR 2007 is far the best out of all of them. Furthermore, it has the most complete roster of any of the games, even though it is now 2008. It has online play with voice chat. It makes the best use of the 'new' ultimate control grapple system. (The only real downside here is the Chris Benoit is featured in quite a few storylines. It's a little creepy) You should be able to find it on eBay, or any retailer that carries used games.

The bottom line, I wouldn't wipe my butt with 'Smackdown! vs Raw 2008', and you shouldn't either.

ECW 1/30/08

Posted by Fenn Jan 30 2008 at 12:29:01 PM

ECW... hmm. ECW, what has happened to you?

Things looked promising way back at One Night Stand (2005). I expected a toned down version of ECW when WWE revived it, but things have gotten way too soft. I have to be honest, I am not happy with what ECW has become (who is?). ECW has devolved into Smackdown 2. Actually, I kinda feel that 'Smackdown 2', is too much of a compliment (not that smackdown is much better these days). ECW has devolved into a mixture of Sunday Night Heat and Velocity. The majority of the current roster, in my opinion, is full of 'just-above-jobbers'. At this point, I find myself only watching ECW on commercial breaks for the show that I'm really watching. At this point, I can't even be bothered to record it on my DVR. I mean seriously, the few remaining ECW originals are barely used. Poor Tommy Dreamer... Balls Mahoney... poor Little Guido/Nunzio. I feel bad for you guys... Vince, give them screentime! In my opinion, the current ECW has become the show of, 'we don't know what to do with you, so well put you on this piece of crap show'.

There was a great, open and honest, interview with Rob Van Dam on the Baltimore Sun's Ring Posts blog (I'll put a link at the bottom of this post). It really gives behind the scenes insight into WWE's ECW debacle. My respect for RVD has grown since reading it (I've always respected RVD and the things that he's done, but ever since my Step-son dubbed him 'Sweaty buttcrack-man', it's been tough. Breaking kayfabe at One Night Stand is still one of my favorite RVD moments). In the interview, Rob says that Vince claims that he 'trained' the fans to chant ECW whenever they 'saw something extreme'. Vince, this is complete and utter crap. We, your customers and viewing audience, DO remember the way ECW was... If anyone trained us to chant, it was Paul Heyman and the ECW originals. Further more, Vince, you can bet your ass that there are more than 2500 of we 'old ECW' fans. I understand why you've toned it down Vince, I don't want to see anyone get hurt either, but you've really gone too far.


I don't have much to comment about last night's show except:
* We don't care if Kofi Kingston was born in Jamaica... and please get him some new gear. Those boots are reminiscent of 1980's legwarmers. Half the time I expect him to break into the theme from 'Fame'.
* CM Punk makes for a great mariachi... please don't make this his new gimmick. (I wouldn't put it past you, Vince. Heh)
* Give us more Tommy Dreamer (thank you, internet voters)

Ring Posts Interview with RVD, Part I
Ring Posts Interview with RVD, Part II

What's RVD been up to? Check out RVD-TV:
RVD-TV

Side note: Rob, please open a wrestling school here in SoCal. That way, my 35 year-old ass can cruise down PCH and train to be the next, high-flying DDP. Hey, I'm allowed to dream.

WWE Monday Night Raw 1/28/08

Posted by Fenn Jan 29 2008 at 11:05:08 AM

On WWE Raw last night, the show opened with John Cena getting more heat from Philly than I have seen most heels get. I couldn't help but laugh. After a heated exchange between Cena and Orton, they eventually got around to announcing that Cena will face Orton for the belt at No Way Out. Although I understand why this was done (People still want to see Jeff Hardy or Triple H at Wrestlemania), doesn't this defeat the whole purpose of the Royal Rumble? I could help but feel a little bit robbed. It also became apparent that John Cena's new taunt is pointing at his armpit. Yes John, we know you had surgery... and that must have sucked, but enough... it's old already.

The Elimination Chamber #1 contender match at No Way Out was also announced by William Regal. I'm not really sure what happened to William Regal's mic skills, but the whole thing was botched. Poor Regal, stuttering and stammering. Also, what is up with him calling Umaga, 'U-manga'? This is the second (maybe third) time I've heard this. Someone should probably correct him. Entrants in the Elimination chamber will be Umaga, Jericho, JBL, Jeff Hardy, HBK and Triple H.



We also saw an impromptu DX 'reunion' last night. To this day, I'm really not sure why this is a reunion when half the original members are missing. Just the same, I can't complain too much. Degeneration X Shawn Michaels is the one HBK that I actually find entertaining. Plus, I don't have to hear that god-awful 'Sexy Boy' entrance music. Sorry Shawn, but it's time to update that theme song. Please... I'm begging. It's downright creepy! Trips picked up the mic and asked the crowd for a toothbrush, tic tacs or a mint for Snitsky. I know those yellow teeth are fake, but still.... ew. I was half-hoping for Triple H to make reference to 'U-manga', but oh well. Heh.


We also found out last night that Mr. Kennedy will be facing Ric Flair at No Way Out. I was thrilled to hear this. Ken Kennedy is by far my favorite heel these days. In fact, he has been since his debut before they changed his name from Ken anderson, to Ken Kennedy. Am I the only one that can see Kennedy as the next Rock? If they let him beat Flair, it will give Kennedy the push that he needs to become a Main Eventer.

The Main Event was an excellent tag match, Y2J & Jeff Hardy vs. Orton & Bradshaw. I was surprised at how well each team worked together. Unfortunately, the moment was ruined by a run-in by Cena after the match. A FU, and then pointing at arm pits. Blah.

WWE Superstars Rumble in Habbo's Virtual World

Posted by Fenn Jan 28 2008 at 10:11:11 PM

The press release below was floating around the internet last week. I had a chance to check it out and it was a pretty cool competition. There were even video promos by Tommy Dreamer, Funaki, Beth Phoenix, Brian Kendrick and DH Smith lobbying for votes, as well as the ability to send messages from Superstars to your friends' cell phones. Very cool.

There was even commentary from Habbo-ized J.R. & King.

The results of the virtual Habbo Royal Rumble were as follows:
* The first Superstar to enter the ring was KEVIN THORN
* The first Superstar to be thrown from the ring was BATISTA
* The last Superstar to be thrown from the ring was DH SMITH
* And the winner of the 2008 Habbo Royal Rumble is JEFF HARDY

Now that it's over, a handful of the Habbo players have been complaining about what a 'rip-off' it was in the Habbo Royal Rumble forum. From what I saw, I don't really see how they could say this considering it was a free competition, and someone won tickets to Wrestlemania 24. In addition, the players of Habbo received custom exclusive 'stickers' for their Habbo homepages, as well as a Royal Rumble 'badge' that they can display on their avatar. (One of the stickers was a Habbo-ized version of the No Way Out poster featuring Jeff Hardy). An example, and I'm paraphrasing here, "We were promised a Royal Rumble and that's what we expected." I'm not a player of Habbo, but it clearly stated in the news article that the winners of the virtual Royal Rumble would be announced, with no mention of an actual 'Habbo Royal Rumble event. Reading is fundamental. Don't expect things that aren't in writing, kid.

Spoiled children. Tsk tsk. Too bad they aren't bright enough to know that with a brand like WWE, companies that work with WWE have to play be WWE's rules. If that's they way the competition was, it's most likely because that's how WWE wanted it.

The official press release follows:
___________________________________________________________________________

Press Release

Source: World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc.

WWE Superstars Rumble In Habbo's Virtual World

Wednesday January 23, 11:30 am ET

STAMFORD, Conn.--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Pixels are flying as World Wrestling Entertainment® takes their annual Royal Rumble® to Habbo’s virtual world. Though the actual Royal Rumble doesn’t take place until January 27, live on pay-per-view, the action on Habbo.com has already begun. And just like the real Rumble, the winner will be going to WrestleMania® 24 on March 30 in Orlando.

WWE began their invasion of Habbo earlier this week, engaging the largest online world for teens in one of their signature events. Already, the “Habbo Royal Rumble” has seen a huge response by users.

After being assigned a virtual avatar to one of 59 WWE Superstars, Habbo.com’s 1.6 million online citizens will vote for which of the top 30 WWE Superstars they think will play various roles in the event (e.g., ultimate winner). Users who correctly predict at least one of the roles will be entered into a sweepstakes, sponsored by Habbo, for a chance to win a trip for two to WrestleMania 24 in Orlando, Fla. on March 30.

“WWE is giving fans access to our brand in new and exciting ways– utilizing virtual worlds, social networking sites, widgets, and much more,” said Geof Rochester, Executive Vice President, Marketing. “This promotion with Habbo’s large, active community is a perfect fit for our expanding digital footprint.”

WWE engaged Millions of Us LLC, an agency specializing in virtual worlds and large online communities, to help manage the campaign.

“Habbo users are drawn to our online community for engaging activities and to be connected to the biggest names and events in entertainment,” said Teemu Huuhtanen, EVP, Habbo business and President, North America. “By partnering with the WWE and Millions of Us for the Royal Rumble, we are bringing our audience to the center of sports entertainment.”

“Habbo pioneered the booming youth virtual world space and is one of the most internationally successful communities of its kind," said Reuben Steiger, CEO, Millions of Us. “We're especially pleased to be inaugurating our presence in Habbo with our longstanding client WWE. That aside, the ‘Habbo Royal Rumble’ campaign is jam-packed with fun, innovative programming and the stakes are high - the prize is among the most valuable we've ever offered in a promotion.”

Check out the promotion, including the 59 WWE avatars, at habbo.com.

Additional information on World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc. (NYSE: WWE - News) can be found at wwe.com and corporate.wwe.com. For information on our global activities, go to http://www.wwe.com/worldwide/

About Habbo:

Habbo is a richly colorful, multi-dimensional virtual community and game environment for teens. Users join by creating a fully customized online character called a Habbo. From there, they can explore many public hang-outs, play a variety of games, connect with friends, decorate their own rooms, and have fun through creativity and self expression. Currently there are Habbo communities in 31 countries on five continents. To date, over 86 million Habbo characters have been created and 8.3 million unique users worldwide visit Habbo each month (source: Google Analytics). Habbo is operated by Sulake Corporation, a Finnish online entertainment company.

www.habbo.com

www.sulake.com

About Millions of Us LLC

Millions of Us LLC is an agency specializing in virtual worlds and large online communities. Founded in 2006 and based in San Francisco, the agency's clients include 20th Century Fox, Warner Bros., Toyota, Microsoft, and Intel.

Trademarks: All WWE programming, talent names, images, likenesses, slogans, wrestling moves, and logos are the exclusive property of World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc. ECW is a trademark of WWE Libraries, Inc. All other trademarks, logos and copyrights are the property of their respective owners.

Forward-Looking Statements: This news release contains forward-looking statements pursuant to the safe harbor provisions of the Securities Litigation Reform Act of 1995, which are subject to various risks and uncertainties. These risks and uncertainties include the conditions of the markets for live events, broadcast television, cable television, pay-per-view, Internet, feature films, entertainment, professional sports, and licensed merchandise; acceptance of the Company's brands, media and merchandise within those markets; uncertainties relating to litigation; risks associated with producing live events both domestically and internationally; uncertainties associated with international markets; risks relating to maintaining and renewing key agreements, including television distribution agreements; and other risks and factors set forth from time to time in Company filings with the Securities and Exchange Commission. Actual results could differ materially from those currently expected or anticipated. In addition to these risks and uncertainties, our dividend is based on a number of factors, including our liquidity and historical and projected cash flow, strategic plan, our financial results and condition, contractual and legal restrictions on the payment of dividends and such other factors as our board of directors may consider relevant.

Contact:

World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc.
Media:
Gary Davis, 203-353-5066
or
Susan Mills, 323-202-1050
or
Investors:
Michael Weitz, 203-352-8642

---

Source: World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc.

$45 Bucks?! Ouch!

Posted by Fenn Jan 28 2008 at 6:55:12 PM

I was saving this topic for closer to February 2nd, but I just went out to my mailbox and found Brock Lesnar staring back at me.

The mailer features a photo of Brock from the knees up, sporting his new tattoo on his chest. the top reads, "Can he fight?".

My gut reaction is, hell yeah he can fight. I've been waiting for this PPV forever. Excitedly, I flip the card over.

"Only $44.95"

You're kidding right? I like Brock Lesnar as much as the next fan, but am I really going to shell out $45.00 for a fight that might last 15 minutes, if they finish all three rounds? A match that could end within 30 seconds of the first round if someone taps? I don't think so.

I'm betting most other people won't spend $45.00 to see Brock either. Maybe we'll get our wish, and Brock will come back to Wrestling.

First Blog Entry!

Hey everyone, this is my first news post on Fenn's Wrestling Rant. I have been blogging on another site (www.wrestlingrant.spruz.com), but have decided to move here. I'll be moving my posts from the old site here.

I have been a proud, self-admitted Smark for over 25 years. I'll be commenting on the current state of affairs of professional wrestling and sports entertainment, as well as from the past (after watching wrestling for 25 years, I have a lot to catch up on)

I'm really excited to get this up and running on blogger/blogspot, it will be 'that damn good'.

2008 Royal Rumble

Posted by Fenn at Jan 28th 2008 2:46:57 PM

Welcome to the first 'real' blog entry. It's a big one... you might wanna sit down.



Last night was the 21st annual Royal Rumble. The 'Road to Wrestlemania' begins... Open, Madison Square Garden.

Madison Square Garden
For starters, let me comment on MSG. I know that many hail MSG as 'the Mecca', but personally, I can't really stand it. Sorry, but I happen to like to watch the entrances and the walk down the ramp. Superstars (as usual) entered from beneath the seats for a grandiose 20 foot walk to the ring. I couldn't help but focus on the (apparently) mentally challenged guy in the yellow shirt at ringside. Again, sorry... but I like the fanfare. The overall theme of the evening seemed to be, 'let's see how many times we can blow a spot on the biggest PPV next to Wrestlemania'.

Ric Flair vs. MVP
The opening match on the card was Ric Flair vs. MVP in a career-threatening match. To be blunt, even before the event, for the life of me I couldn't understand why this match-up was even on the card. Did anyone really believe that a mid-carder like MVP was going to retire Flair? C'mon, seriously... if Flair is going to be retired, it's gonna be to give a main-eventer a push. Speaking of MVP... what a lame gimick... an inflatable football tunnel? ...and what is up with that unitard? MVP/Alvin Burke may have talent, but let's get him a different character. In my opinion, this match was a complete waste of time that ate into the upcoming matches (which all seemed rushed, by the by...). I now feel bad for Flair every time that I watch him. Slow and painful. Ric couldn't even pull off what I can only assume what was supposed to be an Oklahoma Roll. At least we didn't have to see the same tired, lame 'crooked backdrop' and Flair climbing the turnbuckle just to be tossed off. Yes, Flair was one of the greats... but it's time for him to go. I'd rather see him in an on-camera, non-wrestling role. He was great as the GM of Raw. To this day, I still think Ric's final match should have been the Street Fight with Vince McMahon at the 2002 Royal Rumble. I have seen Ric in a great match since that one... (side note, no one bleeds like Flair)

Following the match, was a package with Vince, Hornswoggle and then Finlay, foreshadowing the upcoming rumble. I honestly like the whole 'bastard son' angle... although I'm not sure why Hornswoggle isn't allowed to speak anymore. What's with all of the grunts and nearly-inaudible 'yeahs' now? Heh.

The next big surprise, the newest member of the broadcast team is... the guy that used to host the original American Gladiators? Why the hell did they hire Mike Adamle? I wouldn't even mention him... but later in the PPV he refers to Jeff Hardy, as Jeff Harvy. Yes, he did correct himself, but that's just inexcusable.

Y2J vs. JBL
Next up, Jericho vs. JBL. I'm happy that Jericho is back. I was was even happier when they stopped making him wear that sequined vest. Sorry... I know he was doing musicals and stuff, but that vest was 'way gay'. I'm just as happy that JBL is wrestling again, but I must say, I hate, and have always hated the rich tycoon angle. I had my hopes up when Bradshaw and Farooq/Ron Simmons (DAMN) ran in as A.P.A. to rescue Hornswoggle a few weeks back, but oh well. More of the same. The match started with lots of slow, back-and-forth action. Not a whole lot to report until Jericho ate ringpost through the turnbuckles. When he reappeared from the floor he had a gusher. Nice blading, Y2J. Throughout the match, Jericho looked great, but 'Holy Ring Rust, Bradshaw...'. Bradshaw totally blew the spot with Jericho's signature bulldog. Jericho went for the bulldog and JBL stayed put, then dove to the mat a second late. Way to phantom-bump, JBL. This screw-up elicited boos from the crowd, as well as from viewers such as myself at home. Jericho won the corwd back after the lionsault. Eventually the action spilled outside. The highlights of outside the ring action was Jericho's bloody faceprint on the ECW announce table, followed by an unblocked chairshot to JBL's head which ended the match (I was surprised by this. WWE frowns on head-chair contact. I guess Bradshaw was trying to make it up to the crowd for the blown spot). After the match, the action continued inside the ring with Y2J winging a chair from the apron across the ring into JBL's head... again, unblocked. Jericho then grabbed a cable and lynched JBL, using the top rope as a pulley while standing on the ECW table. Bradshaw's tongue hanged out like Umaga's. A bit oversold, JBL.

My WWE Diva Rant
Following this match was a promo with Ashley and Santino Marella, a continuation of the whole, 'Hi I'm Ashley and I need to speak to your girlfriend about posing in Playboy but you won't let me. I haven't mentioned her posing in Playboy, and the audience is too stupid to see this storyline unfolding again for the ump-teenth time' angle. This bring me to my first, of many rants, about the WWE divas. STOP. STOP THE DIVA STORYLINES. IF THEY CAN'T PERFORM IN THE RING, DON'T PUT THEM ON TV. WE'RE SO SICK OF T&A. Sorry... but I remember waaaay back in the day (hey, it's back in the day for me), with wrestlers like Wendi Richter, Lelani Kai and Moolah (and later Chyna and Lita) were on TV, they could actually wrestle. In this blogger's opinion, the only female wrestlers that should be on TV right now are Beth Phoenix and Victoria. So help me god, if I have to watch that annoying twit Mickie James blow one more spot...

Edge vs. Rey Mysterio
Following the promo, Edge vs. Rey Mysterio for the World Heavyweight title. I don't have much to say about this match... I will, however comment on it's participants:
* Firstly, I don't really like Edge anymore. I haven't since the whole Matt/Lita/Edge fiasco. When I did like Edge, he was much more entertaining as a face. The Edge/Kurt angle rivalry was fantastic (Edge planted the seeds for Kurt's 'You Suck' era. Fantastic).
* Rey Mysterio... the whole concept of Rey being the World Heavyweight Champion is retarded. It was retarded the first time... and it's retarded now. the guy weighs less than 170 lbs. ...and Rey, if you are reading this (I know you aren't, no one is reading this), you can do amazing things. Please get some new moves. The 619 and (toned-down) West Coast Pop are tired.
* Hawkins/Ryder... I am liking this tag team. They have some great moves. It's unfortunate that WWE has hitched your wagon to the character of Edge.
* Vickie Guerrero. Vince, it was awesome of you to give Vickie a job after Eddie passed. Please give her an off-camera job. She's horrendous on the mic. If you won't take her off of the mic, please end the 'GM in a wheelchair' angle. It was dumb when we had to watch Kurt Angle, work the same angle.
Best highlight of the match: Rey 619-ing the back or Vickie's head while she and edge hug. Semi-blown spots: Rey's attempt of a Pete Rose slide to the outside to spinning DDT Edge outside the ring. this probably would have been awesome, if Rey's chest didn't stick to the mat like velcro. This, followed by Edge's labored attempt to same the move didn't come across well. At another point Rey tried to chest-stomp Edge from the atop the turnbuckle. Unfortunately Rey's feet slipped off of Edge's sweaty chest upon landing. Rey fall down, go boom.

Next up, an awesome promo with Ken Kennedy and Ric Flair... then Shawn Michaels, Trips and Dave Batista. Ken Kennedy is awesome. Some will argue with me, but I can see Ken Kennedy becoming the new Rock. Great showman... great on the mic... fun to watch. HBK arrives and shoos off Kennedy like only HBK can. I like HBK's Mic skills... almost always makes me laugh. It was funny to see Shawn Michaels tell Ric Flair that a loud mouth with platinum blond hair with catch phrase would fail. "That gimmick will never work!" HBK was the star of this promo. I only wish his in-ring skills entertained me as much. Like so many other Superstars... I get tired of seeing the same crap over and over every match. I realize some folks love it, I'm just not one of them. I want to see some innovation and evolution. Ric and Flair are soon joined by Triple H and Batista for a impromptu Evolution reunion, sans Orton, leaving HBK feeling 'awkward'.

Royal Rumble Kiss Cam. You've GOT to be kidding.
...and now, the first ever Royal Rumble kissing cam with Maria! WTF?!!! Are you serious? I know you guys needed to get her in the ring for the in-ring Playboy promo, but that's the best you came up with? Following the kissing cam garbage, Ashley comes out, followed by Santino (who brought a friend... in a burqa) to reveal the whole 'Maria's going to be in Playboy' announcement. God... who cares. The savior of this waste of time, was everyone's favorite: under the burqa was none other than Big Dick Johnson! Yay!

Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton
We have finally arrived at the moment that I, and everyone else, has been waiting for. Jeff Hardy winning the title. Time for a new kind of champ! Not so fast... With the major push the Jeff has been given... and all the dangerous spots they've had him pull in the past few weeks. Orton keeps the belt. I (and everyone else) should have known. Jeff is featured on the No Way Out graphic inside the elimination chamber, which is rumored to be a #1 Contender match. All in all though, this was a good match. No one sells dazed and stunned better than Randy Orton. I gasped as Orton's head snapped off the crowd barrier and was twisted at an unnatural angle. Orton won clean... which I didn't expect. Guess we'll have to see what Jeff will do in the Elimination Chamber. Lots of places for him to high-fly from.

Royal Rumble
I've rambled long enough... I'm not gonna describe the entire play by play for the Royal Rumble, but here are some of my favorite moments:
* Much to my shock (and I'm sure everyone else's) he #1 and 2 entrants were Undertaker and HBK.
* The #4 entrant was Khali. I laughed when all of MSG chanted 'You can't wrestle' at him.
* Tommy Dreamer was #6. He clotheslined John Morrison into a backflip. Shades of Bradshaw clotheslining Rikishi.
* The arrival of Jimmy 'Superfly' Snuka, and then Rowdy Roddy Piper. Everyone in the the ring seemed to stop and just watch them. Side note: Holy crap, Hot Rod. Please keep your shirt on!
* HBK and Taker went out before Miz & Morrison? What the Hell...
* Taker Leg dropping Snitsky on the Smackdown announce table. This sure would have been nice to see. Nice job, camera crew/control room. Camera work over all on the actual Rumble was not good.
* Hornswoggle eliminating Mike Miz. He hid under the ring the majority of the match until Mike Henry lifted him in. Just before Mike Henry and Big Daddy V killed him, Finlay ran in and saved him with the shilelagh. Finlay escorted Hornswoggle to the back. Note: Hornswoggle never was thrown over the top rope. We'll see if this gets addressed on Raw tonight.
* The #30 entrant was... I, like most, was expecting Big Show. The rumor mill suggested that Big show would be returning at the Rumble... but no. John Cena. Yay. Today's rumor mill suggests that WWE kept John Cena under wraps, even from those in the locker room. To be honest, Trips did look shocked when Cena's entrance song started playing (Cena was not supposed to return until after Wrestlemania due to his injury). aaaand.... I thought last night, that it looked like Trips was not supposed to go over the top rope. It looked to me like he was trying to stop from going out. He either sold it very well, or a different outcome was scripted than what actually happened.

I can't say that I'm happy that Cena is back. I preferred him as the rapper heel. I was on my couch, booing with every Cena punch, and yay-ing with every Triple H punch along with the rest of the audience.

Have I been too harsh in this entry? Probably. Can I do what pro wrestlers do? No way... but this is how I see it.