WWE Monday Night Raw 2/25/2008

I was fairly satisfied with WWE Monday Night Raw last night. Here we go...

Raw opened with an in-ring promo with John Cena, Randy Orton and Triple H, with William Regal as a 'moderator'. I'm not sure why, but for some reason they tried to make it (somewhat) reminiscent of a UFC weigh-in. What I mean is, they did the whole promo-photographs of the competitors before the match. John Cena even posed with his hands up. It felt a little odd. MMA's influence on WWE continues. The whole promo was a little predictable, but entertaining nonetheless. What I wasn't clear about was why all the attention was focused on Triple H and John Cena, while Randy Orton stood in the background. Even when Randy Orton took the mic, it appeared that he was being ignored by Trips and Cena... an afterthought. The weakening of 'Randy Orton, Champion' continues week by week. As expected, both of them turn on Orton and clear the ring of him, which in turn leads to them fighting. Orton returns to the ring and pulls RKO sneak attacks on each of them. I wish I knew why creative is doing this to Randy Orton's character. He's a great, believable heel... well, he used to be, anyway.

After the commercial break, we have a backstage promo between Ken Kennedy and Randy Orton, with Kennedy vowing to win the Money in the Bank Ladder match at WrestleManaia, and turning in the contract the same night after the WWE title match. I don't know if this is actually the case or not, but it seemed to me that Mr. Kennedy has been working on promo skills with Shawn Michaels. The speech pattern, delivery and dialogue all seemed to be lifted from the 'HBK Cocky Heel' playbook. Who knows?

The first match of the night was Santino Marella & Carlito vs. Hardcore Holly & Cody Rhodes. There isn't a lot to say here... Bob Holly & Cody Rhodes won. I feel bad for Carlito. I don't know why they are keeping him buried in Santino's shadow. Sure, Santino has some mic skills, but when compared to Carlito, Santino is the inferior wrestler, not to mention he's ridiculous to look at. Furthermore, Carlito is just as good on the mic. I wish JR & King could've just focused on their commentary, rather than trying to get Maria's attention, over, and over, and over again. So annoying. I was left wondering what the whole point was... well, there wasn't one, except to show Maria in here Play boy Bunny logo outfit. Lame.

The press conference held earlier in the day was of course re-capped. The only reason I mention this, is I watched it live yesterday (see my thoughts here: WM 24 Press Conference). Congratulations, editing team. You managed to make Floyd Mayweather not look like a complete moron. Good job editing out all of the boos, as well as the 10-15 minutes when he looked like a child lost in the supermarket). I didn't think it was possible to polish a turd. Nice work. I missed Big Show at the press conference yesterday. In the package it was pretty impressive that Show's fist is nearly as large as Mayweather's head.

William Regal announced the Main Event. Something to be excited about. One of my faves, Mr. Kennedy is finally going to get to play with the big boys (I would later be disappointed when he basically ended up a jobber to the stars). After the announcement, Jericho approaches Regal and they trade hair insults. I hadn't really thought about it (but now I will unfortunately always think about it), but William Regal was right. Jericho's new hairstyle does look like a Cockatoo.

Separated at birth? You be the judge.

Chris Jericho made an obscure reference to their intercontinental title feud in '03 when he urinated in William Regal's tea, but I don't know if many fans will remember it. This whole promo set up the best match of the night, Y2J's Money in the Bank ladder match qualifier, Chris Jericho vs, Jeff Hardy.

Man, I hate Jeff Hardy's new entrance music. It's really bad... at least when compared to the old music. As one would expect, this was an exciting match. We've all seen the majority of the moves in this match, but it wasn't boring at all. Their two styles compliment each other like coffee and cigarettes (okay, not the most healthy analogy, but I have to draw from my source material). Jeff Hardy and Y2J made up for the botched double cross body in the Elimination Chamber (at No Way Out they jumped parallel and banged heads rather than hitting each other perpendicular), this time getting it right. Each Superstar successfully countered each other's signature moves throughout the match, adding to the excitement. One of my favorite counters was Jericho's bulldog into the second rope turnbuckle, but I didn't think Jeff sold it very well (he should have pushed Jericho like Trips does when he counters the RKO). There was a beautiful Whisper in the Wind into a pin attempt. On Jeff's sitout inverted suplex, the landing looked rough. Jericho landed face first. The match ended with an incredible finish... it's hard to put into words, but basically it was a Twist of Fate countered but Walls of Jericho, which was countered by Jericho rolling up Jeff into a pin, who in turn rolled through and pinned Y2J, who rolled through and got the pin, winning the match. The ladder match at WrestleMania is what I am looking forward to the most. So far, it contains all favorites of mine. It's just missing Matt Hardy and Umaga and then I have my dream match. Yes, I said Umaga. Many don't realize it, but the big guy, can fly.

Last night the Hornswoggle storyline has finally changed direction. Hopefully, it will be for the better. In my opinion, it really went too far, and last week was reprehensible. I've been waiting for them to announce Hornswoggle as Finlay's son, and last night it happened. Hopefully, WWE will finally reveal what 'The Deal' is, that Vince McMahon and Finlay kept referring to week after week last month. Then again, you never know... Hornswoggle was never thrown over the top rope at the Royal Rumble, and that was never addressed.
Side note: JBL, what the hell are you wearing? A royal blue shirt with a white collar & a robin's egg blue tie? WTF?

DH Smith made his return to Monday Night Raw last night, facing Umaga. Other than leading into the next promo with William Regal and Paul Burchill, I'm not really sure why this match took place. Umaga is already way over as a monster heel, and DH Smith got his ass handed to him. Like Colin Delaney last week on ECW, he only got two punches off. At least we got to see Umaga's Samoan Splash. It was almost as impressive as his (then Jamal) turnbuckle splash on Jeff Hardy (who was on a table on the floor) at Survivor Series 2002. My secret wish... bring back his brother Rikishi, and have a new Wild Samoans (although, please no dancing or stink faces. The Umaga gimmick is awesome). Creative, if you send Paul Burchill to WrestleMania 24 over Umaga, we're gonna riot (unless you grant my wish and put Umaga in the ladder match. See, I can compromise).

We saw HBK in action against Lance Cade. You know, I'm starting to get fed up. I know they need to drive the storyline and all, but is it really necessary to do it through pointless matches like this one? Is that the only way you can get HBK in the ring? That's not what you did last week. I'm sorry Ric Flair, but while Shawn Michaels may be 'absolutely incredible', it would probably be more appropriate (and believable) to make that statement after an absolutely incredible victory. My 'non-competitive wrestling' gripes continue. Anyway, The Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels match at WrestleMania is now a reality.
Side note: Is February national 'bloody/broken nose month'? HBK at No Way Out, Big Show at No Way Out, Jesse on Friday's Smackdown!, Shawn Michaels again last night. Hmm.

I was disappointed with the Main Event. It wasn't a bad match. I just desperately want Ken Kennedy to get over. My dreams would be dashed as he was made to look ineffective. I truly believe the guy could be just as entertaining as The Rock was, if given the chance. He's got the charisma, the physical talent, as well as the mic chops. Oh well. Triple H and John Cena win (of course), with Mr. Kennedy getting off a sneak attack Mic Check on John Cena after the bell.

On to ECW... It was mentioned that the big match tonight would be Santino Marella & Layla vs. Kofi Kingston & Kelly Kelly. Oh golly gee. I just can't wait (sarcasm)

WWE Monday Night Raw, 2/18/2008

I was highly disappointed in Monday Night Raw last night. It kind of felt like watching TNA. It's been a rough week... maybe I'm just burnt out. To be honest, I don't feel like putting much effort into writing this... but I will.

We opened with the promo with Triple H, then Randy Orton and John Cena. We see that Kevin Eck (RIng Posts) was right, and it's a triple threat at Wrestlemania. Lame. You know, I realize that it's just the way it is', and it's the way it's been done for years, but I'm sick of it. I am sick of buying pay per views, that are supposed to determine the direction of things to come, only to have it changed the following night on the televised shows.

What am I talking about?

Triple H vs. Randy Orton vs. John Cena: Well... let's see... the Royal Rumble is supposed to determine the challenger in the Main Event at Wrestlemania... but no... the storyline has John Cena give up his Wrestlemania 24 spot to challenge at No Way Out instead. In my mind, that's his one shot. Randy screws Cena out of the belt at No Way Out. Triple H wins the Raw Elimination Chamber. So it's now Randy Orton vs. Triple H... but no... now John Cena is back in the Main Event. Ultimately, we got what 'should' have happened as a result of the Royal Rumble, plus Triple H. I feel like, at least in this storyline, Raw wasted a month of my time, and money spent at two pay per views. Why are we supposed to buy pay per views, when you just change the result on Monday night? I'm sorry, but the constant switcheroo is extremely frustrating to me. Please make up your mind.

Jeff Hardy vs. Gene Snitsky: Did anyone honestly believe Snitsky being in a ladder match at Wrestlemania when his opponent is Jeff Hardy? I didn't. I wish they would have used an opponent more suited for a ladder match. Again, Kevin Eck was right (Kevin, do you have backstage source? I think so). Jeff Hardy qualifies for the Money in the Bank ladder match.
Side note: Jeff Hardy's new entrance music is awful

Shawn Michaels Hall of Fame Promo: Last night, with a tear in his eye, we saw Shawn Michaels announce Ric Flair as the 2008 first inductee for the Hall of Fame. I'm not gonna beat a dead horse about the apparent Flair/HBK match at Wrestlemania. At least we (hopefully) will see HBK turn heel again. My thoughts on the matter are here in the Kennedy vs. Flair section: WWE No Way Out 2008

Paul Burchill vs. Super Crazy: Not a whole lot to say here, but thank god it looks like the subliminal incestuous releationship angle is gone. I wouldn't be too sure about that 'bright future' in the WWE, King. This guy isn't getting over. Other than the few, pathetic 'Su-per Cra-zay' chants, you could have heard a pin drop in the arena. Poor Super Crazy. Relegated to jobber. You didn't have to call him old, JR. I wouldn't call him old... or fat. Oops.

Big Show with Floyd Mayweather Promo: "Anaheim! What's up?!" (Can you hear the crickets chirping?) I am still pissed about what happened at No Way Out. I know Wrestlemania traditionally has celebrity interaction in one form or another, and over the years there has been a fair share of boxers. You never saw Joe Frazier, Muhammad Ali, Butterbean or Mike Tyson break anyone's nose. What an ass. Oh, by the way, Floyd, you suck on the mic.

Ken Kennedy vs. Val Venis: See my comments above. No one believed that Val was going to get the win and be in a ladder match at Wrestlemania.
Side note: Kennedy's new theme music wasn't much better than Jeff's, and the 'Ken-Na-Dy's were out of sync.

Vince McMahon vs. Hornswoggle: I haven't been into where this storyline is going. I definately was not okay with what happened last night. Seriously, I know this is all kayfabe but it was disturbing. You're right, Finlay, 'This IS wrong". In my opinion, the crowd is on board with me. I think those boos were boos of 'this is not okay', rather than just a reaction to what was happening in the storyline. I don't know if Jericho was injured in the chamber, but there really should have been a run-in by him to stop this. My guess is JBL & Vince vs. Finlay & Y2J at Wrestlemania 24. Finlay put on a great performance. I believed his distraught yelling and pain... I'd give him an Oscar. You went too far with this one, Vince. This was disgusting and we do not approve.

Maria with Santino Marella vs. Beth Phoenix: Who cares... and what a cheap way to get the win.

Randy Orton vs. John Cena with Triple H as Referee: Since John Cena returned I am not really getting why Randy Orton is now being written as a cowardly champion. The only thing that I have considered is that he's being punished for backstage politics. It's been rumored that there is a new clique backstage (Orton, Carlito, Umaga, Mysterio and MVP), and Randy is the ringmaster (New Clique in WWE). I read elsewhere (sorry, I don't remember the source) that Randy Orton says things just within earshot of others walking by, while Randy is having a conversation with friends. The target of the comment is unable to tell if the comment is actually directed at them or not. (The example given was Shawn Michaels) Of course, there's no really way to know if this is true or not, and it's probably just a rumor.

I'm rambling again...

Anyway, as expected we wound up with a triple threat at Wrestlemania, with Triple H closing the show by giving a Pedigree to Orton and Cena after the match.

Bah.

Lindsay Lohan Backstage at WWE Monday Night Raw, 2/18/2008

As reported on WWE.com, at last night's taping on WWE Monday Night Raw in Anaheim, Lindsay Lohan was backstage, to meet WWE Superstars (John Cena, Rey Mysterio, JBL) and kids from Canada's version of the Make A Wish Foundation, Sunshine Foundation.

I'm not sure why, but WWE is referring to her as an 'A' list celebrity, when this trainwreck is a D-list celebrity, at best. I truly find it hard to believe that this documented alcoholic and apparent coke-head gives a rat's ass about the sick children. In my opinion, this was simply for publicity. I am astounded that 1) WWE would even admit that she was backstage, given their new anti-substance campaign, and 2) that they'd make the connection between Lidnsay Lohan and the Sunshine Foundation.

In my opinion, Lindsay Lohan is a horrible role model for children and should be nowhere near them. I offer the following proof:

On various occasions, she has been photographed at night clubs in the company of Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, two other poor role models. This alone makes you look awful.

August, 2004: Car accident in Studio City, CA

October, 2004: Car accident in West Hollywood, CA

July, 2006: Lindsay Lohan admitted to a Los Angeles hospital for treatment of 'overheating and dehydration', her third hospital visit in 2006. James G. Robinson, CEO of the film's production company for Georgia Rule wrote: "You and your representatives have told us that your various late arrivals and absences from the set have been the result of illness; today we were told it was 'heat exhaustion'. We are well aware that your ongoing all night heavy partying is the real reason for your so-called 'exhaustion'."

September, 2006: Hospitalized at St. Vincent's in NYC for what was called a 'broken wrist'.

November, 2006: Car accident in Los Angeles, CA

January, 2007: Checked herself into rehab. She later said in an interview with E! Online that "It's so weird that I went to rehab. I always said I would die before I went to rehab.", and "I don't know that I'm necessarily an addict" (Admitting your problem is the first step, tramp). She also addressed the rumor about the text message she supposedly sent to her boyfriend at that time about why she left rehab, that she missed "sex and McDonald's". In response to the rumor, she told E! Online that "I'm a sexual person..."

May, 2007: Arrested after a car accident. Police on the scene found cocaine in her car. Charged with drunk driving.

July, 2007: Arrested after an allegedly chasing her former assistant, Tracie Rice, in a car. Lindsay Lohan refused a breathalyzer. At the police station, a blood test proved her over California's legal limit. Cocaine found in her pocket. Arrested and charged with felony possession of cocaine and transportation of a narcotic, in addition to misdemeanor charges of driving under the influence and driving with a suspended license

Yeah, she's a great role model for children.

I am sick of WWE.com's new 'TMZ' style celebrity reports. I'm not sure if they are just trying a different format, or if they have were trying to beat Paul Heyman's 'Heyman Hustle' to the punch.

I suppose I should be happy that they didn't put her on the air, which I think is the real reason she showed up in the first place... she wanted to be on TV.

In any case, stay the hell away from my kids, Lindsay. In my opinion, you're a scumbag and a waste of skin.

For the WWE article: Lindsay Lohan Drops by Raw
For the E! Online article: Rehabbed Lindsay: I'm Not an Addict
For the Sunshine Foundation: Sunshine Foundation

WWE No Way Out 2/17/2008: Fenn's Fiasco, PPV Peril

If you're a regular reader of my blog, you'll remember that I mentioned that in my TNA: Cross the Line post on 2/15, I mentioned that my cable had been out for 24 hours. If you aren't a regular reader, now you know.

Anyway, I ended up getting the cable to work by connecting the co/ax directly to the TV... however my cable box has been non functional (no DVR, no PPV, etc), until finally, FINALLY Charter Cable replaced my box this morning, 5 days later. I called and reported the problem 5 separate times... was lied to and BS'ed about what the problem was (and obviously, they did nothing to fix the problem. I used the chat feature on their website twice with the same result. Over the past week I visited the local office three times before they gave me a replacement box, this morning. Obviously, I'm not talking about No Way Out Yet... I'm ranting about Charter Cable, because quite frankly, I'm pissed. How can it take a a company 10 separate times of the same customer reporting the same problem before they 'decide' to help that customer. The only thing that stopped me from saying to Charter, 'YOU'RE FIRRRRRRRRRED' is that Direct TV was not able to set up a dish the way my apartment is situated. You'll be happy to know, that Charter Cable did join Fenn's 'Kiss My Ass' club. If you haven't caught my drift... don't use Charter Cable.

So I had a dilemma... pay the same price to watch No Way Out on the internet as I would to watch it on TV (and have the ability to record it), or go to a WWE 'Blast Area'. So with the option to not be able to record it and watch on a tiny screen (with questionable streaming quality), and the option to not be able to record it and watch on a gi-normous screen, I opted for the Blast Area. I checked the WWE website and found that Yankee Doodle's in Woodland Hills, CA is a WWE Blast Area. We arrived around 4:30... staked out our seats, and ordered some ($40 worth of awful) munchies. Yankee Doodle's was showing the WWE Preview show... it's 3 minutes to 5, and on the TV's we see Yankee Doodle's ordering the PPV (Yes, they actually waited until the very last minute to order it). Everyone in the place starts clapping, until... a big screen pops up that reads, 'INSUFFICIENT CREDIT'. Yankee Doodle's claimed that it was an issue with Direct TV, but it seemed to me that they didn't pay their bill. We watched them attempt to order the PPV over... and over... and over... eventually they stop trying. They tell us that it should be up around 6-ish. In an attempt to entertain us, Yankee Doodles put on the All Star game, only to turn it off 5 minutes later... then turn it on, and off... (you get the idea). Remarkably the crowd (about 50 other people) were surprisingly patient. We ate our crappy, overpriced appetizers... we were ignored by the waitress... we weren't given one refill on our drinks... It sucked.

It was about 6:15 when employees were seen scrambling behind the bar. The TVs blinked to life, just in time to see the Mae Young Wrestlemania 24 commercial. We missed the ECW match, as well as the entire Smackdown! Elimination Chamber match. Yankee Doodle's, you can join the 'Kiss Fenn's Ass' club, too. You'll never, eeeeeever see another dollar from me, Junior. Assclowns...

By this point, if you care about No Way Out, you either watched it live, read results today, or watched on You Tube (like I had to do today to see the Smackdown chamber match). I'm not gonna give the usual full rundown (but that's what I always say, isn't it?)

CM Punk vs. Chavo: I didn't watch it. Honestly, I don't care. Chavo sucks as a heel. I understand Chavo won clean. Who cares.

Smackdown Elimination Chamber: I read on a few sites today that this was a great match, so I dug it up on You Tube. I thought that this match was pretty lame, especially the entrant order. In my opinion, Finlay and MVP (who shouldn't have even been in the thing) should have started the match. I felt that the 'action' was slow. Is it just me, or did they unlock Big Daddy V when Khali's light went on? Nice job. The outcome of this match was pretty apparent from the start, as is the winner of the belt at Wrestlemania. Bah.

This is where the PPV started at the sports bar. I didn't time them, but they all seemed to be short matches.

Kennedy vs. Flair: I liked this match. I love this rivalry, and hope it continues. It's the first time Ric Flair has entertained me since his match with Vince McMahon at the Royal Rumble in 2002. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I would love to see Mr. Kennedy retire Ric Flair at Wrestlemania, and have Ric Flair become Kennedy's valet. The two work great together. I would hate it if Kevin Eck (Ring Posts) is right and it's Ric Flair vs. HBK at Wrestlemania. It's bad enough to see one guy doing the same, tired crap he's done for decades, without it being two of them.

Edge vs. Rey Mysterio: With Rey's injury, this match was understandably short. I shudder of the thought of Edge vs. Undertaker at Wrestlemania. Even if it becomes a triple threat, Edge really should not be in the main event. I hope and pray they strip him of the belt and Undertaker faces someone else... anyone else.

Big Show's return: I'm pretty sure this was a worked shoot gone wrong. Floyd Mayweather Jr's blows were legit. If Big Show's nose isn't broken, I'd be very surprised. Didn't anyone work with this guy and teach him how to throw stage punches? I felt bad for Big Show. What a s***ty way to have to make a comeback. I'm still not convinced Shane McMahon showing up and trying to calm Big Show was part of the shoot. If I were Big Show, doing an 'I'm back' promo, and someone pulled that, I would have gone after the guy, for real.

John Cena vs. Randy Orton: Man Cena, you are falling into the classification of 'guy I hate to watch'. Same, tired crap... over, and over, and over... have you been hanging out with Flair and HBK? Please learn from their mistakes... learn some more stuff. Your FU is a fireman's carry body slam. Jumping shoulder blocks are boring. Five knuckle shuffle, the most useless signature move, EVER. Spinout powerbomb... boring execution. Why don't you use the Freestyle or Throwback anymore? At least those were stylish. Randy's slap to the ref was priceless. I laughed my ass off. You deserved to be robbed. The more I watch you, the more I find myself starting to agree with the marks that say, 'you can't wrestle'. Watching Khali is more entertaining than watching you. When I started this blog, I promised myself that I'd never put the following video on my blog, but oh well. Deal with it.

Raw Elimination Chamber: Great match, great moves, great performances by everyone. I was especially impressed with Umaga. Speaking of which, the chain of finishers leading to his elimination was awesome. I feel that this match was over too quickly. Given that No Way Out ran the full three hour slot, unfortunately it seemed rushed like they ran out of time. Jeff Hardy was robbed again. I want you to have the belt, but... 1) Triple H, is that damn good. If we compare his performance at the house show on the 16th with yours, he blew your doors off. The crowd exploded when you came out and you seemed like to didn't care, or want to be there. You have to shine off-camera too, Jeff. 2) You're facing nepotism

So that's my No Way Out 2008 rant. Am I bitter? Hell yes.

WWE 'Raw Live!' 2/16/2008: Results and Photos

Last night I attended the house show at the Staples Center, here in Los Angeles. I haven't been to a non-televised event in many years... and I forgot how superior house shows are as compared to televised events. Why? Matches have no time constraints due to TV production schedules, there's tons of wrestler/crowd interaction, the talent has more freedom with their portrayal of their character (If you think Trevor Murdoch has the personality of a doorknob, your view will change if you see him at a house show), and you get to see the guys that they don't put on TV anymore. Of course, it certainly helped matters being in the 6th row, the closest I've ever been. I've had floor seats before (Judgment Day, May 16th, 2004), but they weren't nearly as good. Speaking of Judgment Day 2004, the RVD & Rey Mysterio vs. the Dudley Boys match was awesome. Our camera did not cooperate at all, and the majority of the pics didn't turn out. After spending 3 hours in Photoshop, I managed to salvage a few of the 'more clear' ones.

Anyway, traffic on the way to the Staples Center was beastly... worse than 'typical' LA traffic (If you've never been here, it's always rush hour). When we arrived Ric Flair and Ken Kennedy were in the ring, and we caught the second half of the match. This was a great preview to the match tonight at No Way Out. It was fairy quick-paced, and I was actually entertained by Ric Flair. I imagine this was a warm-up for tonight's match at No Way Out. They battled back and forth, but Kennedy was clearly dominating Flair. Kennedy threw the figure four on Ric Flair but Flair made it to the ropes. Flair ultimately won with is own figure four when Mr. Kennedy tapped out.

The following match was a Divas match. If you're wondering where Val Venis has been, apparently he's now a referee for the Diva matches at house shows. It was Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix. No pics... because other than Beth Phoenix's fisherman's suplex, there wasn't much worth documenting. I can watch Mickie James botch moves on TV... I don't need pictures of it. This was a popcorn match anyway.

Next up was a 6-man tag, Carlito, Charlie Haas & Snitsky vs. DH Smith, Brian Kendrick & Super Crazy. Entrances were pretty standard, however I was shocked when Charlie Haas came out. He was wearing a shiny hoodie, identical to the entrance ring attire worn by A.J. Styles. Once in the ring, he turned around and it said 'HAASTYLES'. I wish the pics of his entrance ring attire turned out, but oh well. I guess you'll just have to take my word for it. I'm not sure if this is a character in development, or WWE's answer to TNA stealing gimmicks. Lots of great crowd interaction here. Carlito jumped the steel rail and charged into the crowd after a fan. He ended up grabbing the security guy's steel chair and winged it into ringside. Snitsky & Haas picked fights with the audience from ringside. There were lots of 'Brush your teeth' chants. I'm not sure what was the deal with Super Crazy. He started the match, almost immediately tagged in and stood there, looking disinterested until he was tagged back in at the end of the match. I'm not suggesting anything, but when DH Smith was thrown to the turnbuckle, he ran like a sissy. Other than that, he performed pretty well... Still not close to being as good as his father though. Brian Kendrick was of course great, as was Carlito. These two guys don't get enough credit, and rarely get to showcase everything that they can do. Charlie Haas, of course, went under the ring and emerged as a luchador. I'm not sure what happened to Charlie Haas. He was so good with Shelton Benjamin back in Team Angle. The match ended with Brian Kendrick ducking a kick from Snitsky, which landed on Carlito, sending both men over. The match ended with Super Crazy landing a moonsault on Charlie Haas in the center of the ring.

The 6-man tag was followed by a 'championship singles match between Jeff Hardy and Randy Orton. The Staples Center exploded when Jeff Hardy's entrance started playing. It was awesome. This wasn't the same match as at the Royal Rumble, but it might as well have been. We've seen this match before, maybe not in the same order, but we've seen it. Orton sliding his kneepad down and dropping it on Jeff. Whisper in the Wind. Missed Swanton Bomb. The match ended the same way the title match at the Royal Rumble did, Twist of Fate reversal into a RKO. Orton wins clean. I noticed a couple interesting things... first... it was strange to see Jeff Hardy squatting in the corner, bobbing his head to Randy Orton's entrance music. Second, Jeff seem generally displeased to be there. He scowled through most of the match and didn't smile much when he did acknowledge the crowd. After the match, he reluctantly made his way around the ring. Maybe he was just tired, but it looked like he was doing it out of obligation more than wanting to interact with the fans. Maybe he knew he was going to lose (again) tonight at No Way Out after he's been busting his ass for months. I imagine he's been getting the same reaction across the country as he got at Staples Center. Give the guy the belt.

After intermission, the action continued with a tag match between Trevor Murdoch & Lance Cade vs. Hardcore Holly & Cody Rhodes. I expected to hate this match when I heard Tony Chimel announcing the Superstars. It was a pleasant surprise. You'd never know it from what is shown on TV, but Trevor Murdoch and Lance Cade are incredibly entertaining heels. Yes, seriously. These guys are funny. From Lance Cade restraining Trevor Murdock from storming into the crowd, to Trevor Murdock trying to escape from Bob Holly's headlock by reaching for hair, not finding any, then stroking Bob's head repeatedly trying to find some (See, it's funny because Hardcore Holly has a receding hairline. Try to keep up). Holly gets the pin by kicking Murdock while he was hung on the top rope, then a Alabama Slam.

By far, the next match was the best of the night. Y2J and JBL, whose job was to warm up the crowd for the main event, absolutely stole the show. Bradshaw came out, did a promo and heated up the crowd, boasting about 'building' the Staples Center by 'destroying' Eddie Guerrero (ironically, Judgment Day 2004) and winning at Wrestlemania 21. Jericho came out in the usual manner (C'mon, baby! ) Chris Jericho and John 'Bradshaw' Layfield put on one hell of a street fight. Better than most I've seen on pay per views (It probably helped my opinion that they were fighting in the crowd just two rows in front of me). There was no blading, and quite frankly, there was no need for it. Poor Bradshaw. Someone in the crowd shouted, 'Hit him in the chest Chris... you might get milk'. There was also a (short-lived, and pathetic) 'You've got boobies' chant'. (Give the guy a break, he was sidelined for a year! ). We saw chairs... a steel pan... various choking with cords (Jericho strung him up from the top rope again)... even stair usage and a Singapore cane. Y2J got the win after hitting a chair-assisted code breaker on JBL's face. Y2J made a point to circle the ring after the match and slap hands with all the kids that rushed the guard rails... really cool of him. When the kids in my section came back to their seats they were freaking. It was so cute. Heh.

The Main Event was Degeneration-X. Triple-H and Shawn Michaels came out tossing T shirts and glowsticks. Trips grabbed the mic and did the usual DX schtik. HBK reminded Triple H that no one was watching at home, Hunter did the whole thing over and added, '...and the millions not watching at home'. Funny, but you probably had to be there.

Tony Chimel then announced the opponents. Like earlier, I groaned when I heard the entrance music... William Regal, followed by Umaga. There was a funny moment when William Regal was making faces at a fan's choice of shirt... oddly enough, the style was pretty similar to Regal's robe. Again I would be impressed. Despite what one might think, it was a great match. It was filled with surprises... and one big, nasty surprise (You'll see, if you're brave enough to scroll down. I'm now scarred for life).

Umaga's ring entrance was standard... screaming in Samoan and showing his tongue.

I am really liking Eddie Fatu's Umaga character. SO much better than Jamal (You remember Three Minute Warning, right?)

Disclaimer: So, remember up above where I said I was scarred for life? Unless you want to be scarred for life too, don't go any further. What do you mean you're not worried about it? Don't say I didn't warn you. Go ahead, it's your funeral. Have a look at HBK's sunset flip pin attempt on William Regal:

So of course, now that William Regal's butt is hanging out... Triple H can't resist and... Spank!

Triple H and Shawn Michaels react to how their hands now smell. Trips grabs the mic and ask if anyone has any Purell, followed by, 'I'm not sure which is worse, the haircut up top or the one down below'. Classic. (Now you know where they got the idea for Mr. Kennedy to pants Flair at No Way Out tonight)

Like tonight at No Way Out, Umaga tried to hit the Samoan Spike on Hunter, but HBK kicks him before he gets the chance, followed by a superkick to William Regal. Trips hits the Pedigree on William Regal, DX wins.

To wrap this up, if you ever have a choice between attending a house show vs. a televised show, go to the house show. Last night I re-learned that televised shows are meant to be watched on TV. After last night, I'll never go to a televised event again. the bottom line: You get a lot more for your money at a house show.

I'll rant about my horrible No Way Out experience tomorrow... Stay tuned.

Eminem Wrestling Rumor False, Habbo No Way Out & More

Well, as I suspected, the whole 'Eminem wrestling in the WWE' rumor has been proved false... Totally bogus. If you didn't know, yesterday Media Take Out reported that Eminem had signed a deal with the WWE.

The Celebrity Truth has posted an article addressing the rumor. Celebrity Truth spoke to Eminem's publicist, Dennis Dennehy, who said, 'Eminem has no interest whatsoever in becoming a wrestler. This ‘source’ is making stuff up.'

To read the full article: Exclusive: No Pro Wrestling Career For Eminem

On a side note, today is a busy day for me... lots of errands and a WWE Raw Live! house show at the Staples Center tonight. I'll write more about Friday Night Smackdown, the house show and other stuff tomorrow... Oh, also... the top 20 Elimination Chamber rooms have been posted on Habbo. Voting on the top 20 ends tomorrow, Sunday, Feb 17th.

Check out the top 20 rooms and cast your vote here: Habbo No Way Out top 20

Related links:
Habbo No Way Out main competition
Habbo No Way Out side competition
Habbo No Way Out group page

WWE Monday Night Raw 2/11/2008

Monday Night Raw opened with the Hornswoggle vs. Mr. McMahon match. You know, almost every time that Vince walks the ramp (especially so if he is in wrestling gear), I have to chuckle. See, I can't help but remember the Vince McMahon of my childhood, the 1980's, skinny announcer, pre-powerwalking Vince. It's really quite remarkable how big he is now, when compared to the younger Vince McMahon.

Anyhow, enough reminiscing... Hornswoggle vs. Vince:

I can't say that I was looking forward to this match since they announced it last week. To be honest, I don't really like where the whole story line has gone, and is going (Seriously, a steel cage match next week? C'mon). Regardless, there were some things to talk about:
* An Elbow & Collar tie-up between a 6'2" man and a 'little person'. Um, what's the point?
* Speaking of points, Vince McMahon's incredibly pointy elbows. I'd swear he had 'pointy elbow implants', if there were such a thing
* A 'Test of Strength' between a 6'2" man and a 'little person'. Again, what's the point? Heh.
* Finlay clubbing Vince McMahon with a shillelagh. My gut reaction was, 'Holy s***! He really hit him!'. We would see later in a promo with William Regal that Vince, indeed, was clubbed. He had a huge golf ball-sized bump on the back of his head. It looked like the lump that appears when an anvil is dropped on Wile E. Coyote. Ouch.

Y2J vs. JBL. A fairly good-paced match. I was surprised to see Chris Jericho using some dirty tactics (forehead biting, face raking, etc), but I suppose this is a part of the 'new Jericho'. Jericho also did a nice step-up enzuigiri, reminiscent of a shining wizard. The match ended with Jericho's new finisher, the codebreaker, and Y2J getting the pin. I was actually fairly bummed that this is his new finisher, an obvious rip off of Carlito's backstabber. Umaga ran in after the match and gave samoan spikes to both Y2J and JBL. I can't say that this surprised me... I've never seen the Umaga character as having loyalty to anyone. he's a stand-alone character.

Tonight, we also saw an anti-steriod WWE PSA featuring John Cena. Viewing Audience, we've been put on notice... In addition to the locker room, the entire viewing audience is now governed by WWE's Wellness Program. So don't use drugs, use steroids or growth hormones... and watch what allergy medications you take or we'll all be suspended. There are no shortcuts to your goals.

Next up, the re-introduction of Paul Burchill (& his 'sister'), vs. Brian Kendrick. It irritated me that JR acted as if we'd never seen Paul Burchill before. ('...very talented, or so we have been told'). It's hard to forget the pirate gimmick, JR. No, he wasn't on Raw before, but still.
...oh by the way, the WKC Dog Show is now being shown on CNBC. Dogs Rule! (if you watched Raw, you know what I am talking about)... now back to the rant...
Paul Burchill does have a pretty cool finisher... it's his old finisher from OVW, the Curb Stomp (deathlock surfboard followed by a head stomp into the canvas). He followed this with a rolling cutter.
A couple of side notes:
* Stop the subliminal incestuous chemistry gimmick between the Burchills now. It's freakin' creepy.
* It's really a shame that Kendrick is being wasted as a jobber. The guy has a lot of talent. Seriously, he's becoming the Raw version of ECW's Colin Delaney.

We saw Cena vs. Mark Henry with RKO at the announce table last night. Not much to note except it was a relatively short match. I'm sure 'the message' was supposed to be, 'Cena can beat Henry in about three minutes', but the message I received (and I'm sure many other marks received) was, 'we're continuing to rest Cena'.
Side note:
* None of us believe that the Randy Orton character is afraid of Cena to the point that he won't make eye contact or stand up. Ridiculous.

Kennedy & Ric Flair in-ring promo. Great promo. Awesome promo. These two characters were made to rant at each other. I have to say, I'm pretty damn excited about the possibilities here. Not that I am necessarily excited about the match itself, but the possibilities afterward (Sorry, I'm not a Ric Flair fan. I haven't been in many years. Frankly, he's boring). Regardless of who wins, picture Flair taking Kennedy under his wing and mentoring him. I agreed with what HBK said at the Royal Rumble about the similarities between the two characters (loud mouth with platinum blond hair with catch phrase, that gimmick will never work), but agree even more so after last night's promo. Honestly, I am hoping that what HBK said was foreshadowing. I wouldn't consider it a predictions, but I would like to see Kennedy retire Flair, they shake hands, Flair retires from wrestling and becomes Kennedy's valet.
Side note:
* Kennedy's Flair strut is hilarious

There was Divas match between Maria & Melina last night. It wasn't as bad as usual Diva matches we've been seeing. Not much overselling or missed spots. Melina has certainly improved and executed a pretty cool octopus stretch that I'd not seen her use before. The screeching and squealing still irritates the Hell out of me, and there was more than usual last night. Whoever in creative told the Divas, 'okay, I'd like you to give us more squealing' is a moron.
Side note:
* We still don't care about Divas being in Playboy.
* Someone please teach Maria how to throw a clothesline (Bradshaw, I'm looking at you)

The Main Event was Shawn Michaels vs. Jeff Hardy. As one would expect, a match with good pace and good action. For once I didn't get irritated with HBK's tired signature moves (nip-up, elbow drop, inverted atomic drop, etc. Sweet Chin Music always irritates me. Whenever he throws SCM I want someone to capture suplex him), they actually fit into this match quite well. HBK busted Jeff Hardy open after a very hard clothesline (HBK, maybe you should be the one to teach Maria). Soon after Jeff was seen bleeding from the nose and lip piercing. We also saw HBK put various submissions on Jeff, who would then escape. The match ended with a Swanton (of course), giving Jeff Hardy the win. I hope they let Jeff main event Wrestlemania, instead of building him up like they did before the loss at Royal Rumble. It's time for a different kind of champion.

Final side note:
Week #2 with no sign of Triple H. Well, at least they didn't replace him with the fugliest of fuglies, Gene Snitsky, like they did last week.

WWE Monday Night Raw 2/4/08

Well, holy crap. I take a one-day break from writing and now look at all the stuff there is to write about. Well, let's start at the beginning...

Monday Night Raw...

Raw opened with the Orton/Cena contract signing. All I can say is, 'yawn'. I'm not into this rivalry. I'm sorry, I really don't mean to get down on you John, but I'm not happy that you are back. I'm not like some smarks on the internet that go so far as to say you can't wrestle, but you really need to spice things up. A jumping shoulder block... 'five knuckle shuffle' (the most useless move since the Peoples' Elbow. At least The Rock had style), the FU... the FU... a modified death valley driver... a modified body slam is probably more accurate. At this point, in fact, ever since you turned face, you have to be under 12 to like your character. You aren't a rapper, are you certainly aren't a Marine... you played one in a movie. Stop saluting. You insult people that actually served their country. Sgt. Slaughter is a former Marine... you aren't.

Next on my hit list are the Divas. I've said it before, and I'll say it again... at this point the only Divas that should be on TV are Beth Phoenix and Victoria. Fenn's bottom line, if you can't wrestle, then stay out of the ring. Once again, Mickie James, the Queen of botched spots, blew it in this match. She fell off of the turnbuckle for Pete's sake. JR claims Beth Phoenix was shaking the rope off-camera so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt... the botched Tornado DDT is another story. If being a failure of execution wasn't enough, she has to steal Trish Stratus' signature moves. I was surprised to see a guillotine choke in this match (and have JR call it that for that matter). Between that, Taker's new leg choke, and Ken Kennedy's new leg submission it seems apparent that creative is having more MMA moved incorporated (Deep South, maybe you should have followed suit... more on you later)

The next match was Kennedy vs. Super Crazy. Ken Kennedy is by far my favorite these days. Great mic skills.... great showman... great heel. While I was glad to see an ECW original like Super Crazy, it really bummed me out that he is now being used as a jobber. We saw for the first time Kennedy's aforementioned new submission hold. I guess they are giving Kennedy the push before No Way Out. As much as I'd like for Kennedy to get over, I have a feeling that Flair will get retired at Wrestlemania to an established Main Eventer. Side note, Kennedy's 'Whoo!' is hilarious.

Mike Adamle. I'm still confused as to why Adamle is on WWE, and Hogan is on American Gladiators. (Not that I want to see Hogan anymore, mind you. I'm more tired of seeing Hogan, than I am seeing Flair)

Paul London is back. Yay. This should be a great match. Kendrick & London are a great tag team and fun to watch. Oh wait, nevermind. The match is over. London didn't even get in the ring. Blah.

Vince, you are a funny, funny man. Seriously, you confuse me. (The weird power walk where you lose control of your arms has always confused me). Please stop reviving the Kiss My Ass gimmick. Have some pride, man. No one wants to see your promos of getting an 'ass-cial', even if it is a shoot. Also, is it a really good idea to attack the parents/kids in the audience when they seem to be the largest group supporting WWE? You are losing a lot of 18-35 males to MMA. Hornswoggle. I used to like how the Hornswoggle character was being used, even as fantastical as it was. A couple weeks ago Creative took away his ability to speak, and now is seemingly being portrayed as a child, rather than just the 'illegitimate bastard son'. Side note: One would think that joining the 'Bite My Ass' club is much worse than the 'Kiss My Ass' club. Seriously... Ew. Additional side note: The mark screaming 'My eyes! My eyes!' when Vince dropped his pants slayed me.

Next we saw HBK, followed but four other Elimination Chamber entrants, followed by Snitsky?! I guess Trips got the night off. This set up the Main Event, three on three tag. Jumping ahead, this was one of the better tag matches I've seen in a while. I'm not gonna give the play by play though. Please get Bradshaw a new gimmick! This gimmick sucked with Ted DiBiase, and it sucks now!

Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes vs. Cade/Murdoch. Firstly, Cade/Murdoch wtf are you wearing? Heh. Secondly, Bob, I don't know what you're doing, but keep doing it. You're well past your 30's and haven't been cut yet? Kudos.

The show ended with an arm wrestling match between John Cena and Mark Henry. Uhm... the crew set up the arm wrestling table the wrong way. That's alright, the ref will be sure to turn the table. Oh wait, nope. Well that's okay, either Cena or henry will be sure to fix it. Hmm. No, they are too busy talking about Cena's oily hands. Ah screw it, we'll just use this prop the wrong way. no one will notice... Bah.

WWE Monday Night Raw 1/28/08

Posted by Fenn Jan 29 2008 at 11:05:08 AM

On WWE Raw last night, the show opened with John Cena getting more heat from Philly than I have seen most heels get. I couldn't help but laugh. After a heated exchange between Cena and Orton, they eventually got around to announcing that Cena will face Orton for the belt at No Way Out. Although I understand why this was done (People still want to see Jeff Hardy or Triple H at Wrestlemania), doesn't this defeat the whole purpose of the Royal Rumble? I could help but feel a little bit robbed. It also became apparent that John Cena's new taunt is pointing at his armpit. Yes John, we know you had surgery... and that must have sucked, but enough... it's old already.

The Elimination Chamber #1 contender match at No Way Out was also announced by William Regal. I'm not really sure what happened to William Regal's mic skills, but the whole thing was botched. Poor Regal, stuttering and stammering. Also, what is up with him calling Umaga, 'U-manga'? This is the second (maybe third) time I've heard this. Someone should probably correct him. Entrants in the Elimination chamber will be Umaga, Jericho, JBL, Jeff Hardy, HBK and Triple H.



We also saw an impromptu DX 'reunion' last night. To this day, I'm really not sure why this is a reunion when half the original members are missing. Just the same, I can't complain too much. Degeneration X Shawn Michaels is the one HBK that I actually find entertaining. Plus, I don't have to hear that god-awful 'Sexy Boy' entrance music. Sorry Shawn, but it's time to update that theme song. Please... I'm begging. It's downright creepy! Trips picked up the mic and asked the crowd for a toothbrush, tic tacs or a mint for Snitsky. I know those yellow teeth are fake, but still.... ew. I was half-hoping for Triple H to make reference to 'U-manga', but oh well. Heh.


We also found out last night that Mr. Kennedy will be facing Ric Flair at No Way Out. I was thrilled to hear this. Ken Kennedy is by far my favorite heel these days. In fact, he has been since his debut before they changed his name from Ken anderson, to Ken Kennedy. Am I the only one that can see Kennedy as the next Rock? If they let him beat Flair, it will give Kennedy the push that he needs to become a Main Eventer.

The Main Event was an excellent tag match, Y2J & Jeff Hardy vs. Orton & Bradshaw. I was surprised at how well each team worked together. Unfortunately, the moment was ruined by a run-in by Cena after the match. A FU, and then pointing at arm pits. Blah.