TNA iMPACT! 2/7/08

Yeah, I know what I said last week. 'TNA, I'm done with you'. What can I say? Last night after watching Survivor: Micronesia and Lost, I was browsing the guide, saw TNA and pressed the record button on the remote. I recorded/watched the second hour of TNA.

I have tried to get behind this show. Really hard. They don't make it easy.

Between the blatant gimmick infringement, announce team (yes, announce team. I'll comment more later), ultra-cheap production values and uninteresting writing, I just can't do it. Oh, and then there's Christy Hemme.

The first match I saw was 'okay'. Rock and Rave Infection vs. Curry Man & Shark Boy. I'm not sure why Christopher Daniels is doing the Curry Man bit. His other persona is much more entertaining. I mean, seriously... Curry Man is more like a character from Kaiju Big Battel. Shark Boy, no comment, except that I wish he'd stayed silent. Bah, forget it... I've given this match more thought than it deserved.

Next match, Tiger Mask vs. AJ Styles. Not much to say here either, except I love to watch AJ Styles... (but I wish he'd stay off of the mic, too). Moving on...

Christian Cage vs. Judas Mesias: I don't know why, but this match seemed really slow to me. There were some Lucha-esque 2nd rope moves (weren't very good). Christian makes a great headliner. I wish WWE would've given him more spotlight. One good thing about TNA, they give the non-bodybuilder types spotlight. I wish Vince would lose his bodybuilder fetish. Judas Mesias. This isn't TNA-specific, I never have been a big fan of the monster heel/face wrestlers. I don't know why. Maybe it was because we were told (forever) that Kane was nearly burned alive, as as the years went by, and lost more and more clothing, there wasn't one scar. Let's look at Undertaker for example... Taker's American Badass persona was much more frightening than rehashing the original Undertaker. Look at Viscera. Big Daddy V, to me anyway, is way more terrifying than the guy in the pantsuit. I know the monster personas will never go away... it's part of the tradition, but one can hope. To get back on topic and sum this up, Christian won, Abyss ran in, AJ Styles ran in, Kurt Angle ran in, Tomko ran in. Are we really to believe that Kurt hangs out in the back in dress pants, dress shoes with no shirt on? Heh.

Let's look at my gripes with TNA:

Gimmick Infringement
I've addressed gimmick rip-offs before, and I'm not gonna beat a dead horse. The bottom line, don't do it. It really gives an amateur feel to the show. Why revive and impersonate popular characters from your direct competitor's past? That won't win us over... it pisses us off.

Announce Team
I'm not sure why, but the announce team is important to me. I think it plays an important part in televised wrestling. Maybe it's because I am getting older. If you asked me why, I couldn't tell you, but I don't like listening to Mike Tenay and Don West. I don't 'believe' that they are experts. Their commentary reminds me of those bars where they show football footage and patrons can give the play-by-play. The timing and delivery isn't very good either. In the Christian vs Judas match, James Mitchel distracted Christian on the turnbuckle. Mike Tenay started talking about Judas' counter before Christian left the top rope. I have had, and still have, the same problem with Joey Styles. As great as 'old' ECW was, I hated the commentary, especially 'Oh my God!' and 'Cat Fight'. I hate it now. I thinks that's one of the major factors that I'm not that into the 'new' ECW (not to mention Vince changing Paul E's formula).

Ultra Cheap Production Values
Yes, I know TNA doesn't have the capital that WWE has, but come on. You're not that broke. Give the Rock and Roll Infection some real guitars. Hell, you can buy a Squier Fender Strat for $100. If you insist on AJ wearing a crown (still not clear why he does), don't buy one from the 'let's play dress-up' section of the dollar store.

Uninteresting Writing
I have found it hard to care about TNA's storylines. While I realize the important part is the wrestling, I also follow the storylines. As I've said previously in this blog, maybe it's due to my age. To me, wrestling is a soap opera for men. TNA just doesn't give me a reason to tune in week after week. To be blunt, if I miss a week, I don't care what happened.

Don't get me wrong, WWE isn't all roses and sunshine. They have their fair share of bad storylines too... Palumbo/Noble/McCool, Deuce & Domino, Edge/Vickie, remember Triple H/Kane/Katie Vick? Awful... WWE is the other extreme, too much writing...

To paraphrase Lance Storm (I don't remember the exact quote), "I like a little more sports in my entertainment". I want a happy medium between the two.

Christy Hemme
While not a main reason for my gripes, Christy has gotten increasingly annoying since moving to TNA. She was annoying on WWE, but not like now. I'm not sure if the current version is the real, or kayfabe Christy. It makes you wonder if in WWE they tried to tone down the spastic, annoying Christy, or on TNA if that is supposed to be a part of the character, or if that who she really is because there's more freedom on TNA. All I know, is I thought Melina squeals and screams were bad. They pale in comparison to Miss Hemme. Someone, please, get her some Ritalin and a gag.

Needless to say, I won't be buying 'Against All Odds'. You need to give me more reason to give you my money, TNA.

My final thought... Kurt, please get rid of those little white wrestling shoes. Those are way worse than Trip's old white cheerleader booties.