WWE Friday Night Smackdown 2/15/2008

Okay... back from errands and I have a short amount of time to ramble and rant about Smackdown before I leave for the house show. I'll (try) to keep it brief (but what can I say, I'm long winded).

I can summarize last night's episode of Friday Night Smackdown in one word: 'Why?'

While that makes sense to me, it probably doesn't make sense to you, so I'll elaborate. Last night left me asking the question, 'Why?' every five minutes or so. It almost felt like I was watching an episode of TNA iMPACT! (okay, it wasn't that low quality of an experience, but still...)

Here's some bullet points:
* Batista vs. MVP - Why?
- Why was this even a match? Yes, they both are in the Elimination Chamber tomorrow, but other than that, I see no reason to put them together
- Why was MVP's gear 'way gay'? Seriously, with all that purple, black and sequin studs, it looked like he's been shopping at El Dungeon Fabuloso in West Hollywood, Dupont Circle, Haight/Ashbury, the West Village or any other notoriously homosexual neighborhood across America)
- Why was Bastista using Ric Flair's moves? (Leg clip, working the knee, figure four)
- Why is MVP being pushed so hard when Vince has a bodybuilder fetish, and he has a gut like me. Carlito said it best in an old promo with Randy Orton... 'Lovehandles? Dat's not cool'
- Why were a chorus of children (and only children) chanting 'Ba-Tis-Ta'. I swear this was piped in.

...and now a PSA... there are no shortcuts to your goals. A reminder, viewing audience, you've been put on notice too. WWE is going to suspend us all. (Are steroids really that big an issue outside of athletics? I don't think so...

* 8-man tag - Why?
- Why are Jesse and Festus getting such a push? Yeah, Festus was out two weeks but it's not like Triple H came back... not to mention it's the exact same gimmick as before he left.
- Why must Shannon Moore always be: 1) Underused -and- 2) Caught in someone's shadow (Matt Hardy's MF'er, squashed by Matt Morgan, Nathan Jones, Big Show, Brock Lesnar, etc). I'm one of the biggest Jimmy Yang Wang fans there are, but Shannon Moore does cool stuff too.
- Why has the Ryder/Hawkins push that's been building up the past few weeks vanished?
Side note: JYW did one of the prettiest moonsaults I've even seen in this match

Michelle McCool vs. Victoria (Palumbo 'ride in') - Why?
- No comment. Completely pointless and a waste of airtime.

* Undertaker vs. Big Daddy V - Why?
- Why do people like 'Old School', and why would Old School even be painful, and how come Undertaker's opponents don't simply push him off the rope?
- Why must people bleed every time Taker uses his new submission? Triple H received a crushed trachea when RVD frog splashed him in the Elimination Chamber in 2002 and was out for weeks. Miraculously Viscera and Mark Henry reappeared the next week after bleeding from the mouth. (I imagine we'll see Matt Striker on Tuesday, if not tomorrow with Big Daddy V at No Way Out)
- Why do people tap out of Takers new submission instead of using that free arm to just move Undertaker's unsecured left leg?

* Kane & CM Punk vs. Chavo & Shelton Benjamin - Why?
- Why are these teams even together? There is no relationship between Kane and CM Punk, or Chavo and Shelton Benjamin. While it was good to see Shelton on-air, why not just have the CM Punk/Chavo match?
- Why can't Chavo get his part of the GTS right? The move is supposed to end with head/knee contact. Otherwise, it's just a fireman's carry gutbuster, not a GTS.

* Edge, Vickie & Rey - Oh God why?!
- Why is this storyline still going on? The 'Vickie keeps getting hurt' wheelchair gimmick sure is getting old
- Why was this storyline ever approved? Tasteless.
- Why was Edge singing Bryan Adams? WTF?
- Why is the real West Coast Pop not done anymore? A seated senton is not a West Coast Pop

The only entertaining moment of the evening (at least for me), was a seated senton into a lady in a wheel chair. I haven't laughed that hard in a long while, but it wasn't worth wading through an hour and fifty minutes of crap to see it.

So much for keeping it brief. Heh.